Admitting That I’m a Minimalist

I have recently begun to downsize fairly significantly, but I never wanted to consider myself a minimalist.

Awhile back, I read the book by Joshua Becker, “The More of Less”.  I like his approach to minimalism.  He’s very determined without being a radical.

Just this morning, I started reading a 14-day devotional called “The More of Less” on YouVersion, that was written by Joshua Becker, also.

In the devotional, he defines minimalism as “…the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from them.”  That really hit home with me.  I’ve spent so much of my time throughout my life storing, organizing, and caring for possessions that aren’t very important to me, at the expense of living my life doing things that are important to me.

I like living “smaller”.

A Little Obsessive Compulsive Behavior

Let me start by throwing out a couple cliches:

Opposites attract.

God has a sense of humor.

Most people use those phrases to enhance their wit or humor, but there is so much truth to those phrases. Why else would God see fit to pair someone like me, who is a little obsessive compulsive, with a family who are anything but obsessive compulsive? It doesn’t make any sense, otherwise.

I’ve always been willing to admit that I am slightly obsessive compulsive. In other words, if certain things aren’t done a certain way, I get a little freaked out. For me, it truly does matter which direction the toilet paper roll is facing.

Following a Routine

From the time I get up in the morning, I follow routines.

The alarm goes off at 5:00. I push the snooze button then get up at 5:10. Walk to the closet and grab my shorts and a pair of pants, which I carry into the bathroom and set them on the counter. I go to the toilet, wash my hands, shave, shower, dry off, put on my shorts and pants, grab some tissue to blow my nose, grab more tissue to dry out my ears. wash my hands, brush my teeth, comb my hair put on anti-perspirant/deodorant (yes, it must be anti-perspirant/deoderant – not just deoderant)…..and the routine continues, every morning, in the specified order.

Did you notice that I shave before I do most of my other bathroom activities. In most cases, that would make no sense, but it became part of my routine several years ago. We lived in a house that didn’t have a fan in the bathroom. For me, it’s critical that I can see in the mirror while I shave. If I showered first, the mirror would be too fogged to see myself and I would have to take extra time to dry off the mirror so I could shave. I realized at some point that if I shaved before I showered, I could save the time and effort of having to dry off the mirror.

Now, even after we moved to a different home that has a fan in the bathroom, I’ve never returned my process to the original order. It still works.

Do you want to know how to mess with someone like me? Move an object that is part of his routine.

One time, several years ago,my son started using my comb. He couldn’t just use it and put it back in the drawer…NO…he had to take it and leave it somewhere else in the house. I couldn’t just grab a different comb. I needed my comb. I couldn’t just wait until I finished the rest of my bathroom ritual. I needed to comb my hair next. So, I would search the house until I found my comb and could continue.

This happened with regularity. In fact, it was so regular, that I began feeling unfulfilled in the morning if my comb wasn’t moved to an obscure location and I didn’t have to go look for it.

Everything in its Place

Everything has it’s place and should be left in its proper condition.

Because I live in a house with people who aren’t  “like me,” I end up having many “moments.”

If I were to be the last one in my house to go to bed at night, I would go around turning of lights and shutting and locking doors. Instead, I’m the first one up every morning, and the first thing I notice when I get up is that those things weren’t done properly the night before.

When I get home from work, each day, I don my French maid outfit and go around the house picking up wrappers and garbage to put them in the garbage. Then I make a second trip around the house to get all the cups and dishes to put them in the dishwasher.

People “like me” notice all those things that were not put where they belong. When the people I live with who are not “like me,” and I confront them about the mess I had to clean up, the answer is either “I forgot”, or “I didn’t see it.”

“How could they not see it, for pity sake?” I ask. “You had to walk all the way around it to get through the room.”

I’ll never understand.


I collect witty sayings. Whenever I find something I like, I email it to myself and keep it in a file for later use. Then, when a time comes to recite them, I can’t remember them, anyway.

Here’s a few that struck me as particularly witty, and in many cases, funny.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.
– Andrew W. Mathis

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
– John Adams

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
– John Ciardi

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
– John Kenneth Galbraith

A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.
– Gerald Ford

Anonymous Phrases

I wish I could give credit to those whose originality brought these statements, but I don’t have a source. All I can say is that I wish I were so clever as to come up with these thoughts, but I’m far from it.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Wood Spider on Drugs

I have so many relatives who teach science, I knew that I needed to share this video.

The Effect of Drugs on a Wood Spider

This is absolutely hilarious. I has to rank on the top 10 of my all time favorites. Watch the wood spider as he is exposed to various drugs such as LSD, marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, caffeine, and more.

I don’t have any personal experience with any of the above, outside of caffeine, but I’ve seen enough of it from high school acquaintances to know what the various drugs do.

Funny Road Rage Video

This is a hilarious road rage video. Watch Mercedes guy’s face throughout the process. It is totally priceless.

Road Rage: Granny’s Revenge

I can really relate to this guy in the Mercedes. It’s nothing to do with the car. In fact, I drive an old Ford. I’m talking about being cranky while driving and having it backfire on me, which just makes me angrier. Good thing I live in a small town instead of some crowded metropolis. I’d die from high blood pressure for sure.

Big fruity nose

wine_tastingI’ve yet to find a wine that tasted good to me. Of course, I haven’t looked that hard, either. I’ll just stick with my Dr. Pepper and iced Mochas.

I don’t know that wine connoisseurs drink all that much wine, either. Every time I’ve observed a wine tasting, I see people smelling the wine, looking at it, talking about it, but only occasionally tasting a it.

Wine connoisseurs have their own language. Wines are described as flowery, woody, elegant, velvety, rounded, yeasty, smoky, and the list goes on.

While walking past a tasting booth in a grocery store, one day, I overheard the taste master say, “This one will give a big, fruity nose.”

bigfruitynoseI’ve seen people with big fruity noses. Now I know how they got them. I started trying to imagine what I might look like with a nose like that. No thanks. I’ll stay away from the wine that gives you a big, fruity nose.

how to control road rage

roadrageI don’t have many faults, but there is one glaring fault I really need to overcome. When I’m driving, I have a shorter fuse with other people than at any other time.

As an admitted resistentialist, I know that whenever I’m in a hurry, everyone else on the roads have all day. And, I’m certain that the city roads department has programmed all the traffic lights to turn red on my approach.

Even my hero, Dilbert, encounters issues on the road.

Fortunately, I’m able to stop my reactions short of causing bodily harm or property damage to another driver. I’ve witnessed, first hand, that their are other drivers on the road who can’t profess such self-control.

According to, there is a 5 step process for overcoming road rage.

1. Slow down and quit tailgating.
2. Quit screaming at the people in the other car.
3. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
4. Think of the other driver as a real person.
5. Follow the “Golden Rule”.

C’mon, now! There’s no way I can do that stuff. As long as I’m driving, I’ll encounter idiots on the road that will set me off. The only way to ensure that I can control my road rage is to stay out of the car. It’s alot like birth control. The only way to prevent pregancy with 100% certainty is abstinence.

In the end, road rage just won’t benefit you.

A Dose of Humor

This came through my email awhile back. I thought it funny enough to drop it into my blog. I wish I could give credit, but I don’t know where it originated.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Humorous definitions.

A place where women curl up and dye.

Someone who is fed up with people.

The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

Cold Storage.

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

An insect that makes you like flies better.

Grape with a sunburn.

Something you tell to one person at a time.

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

The pain that drives you to extraction.

One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

An honest opinion openly expressed.

Something other people have. I have character lines.

Avoid the long lines

While we shopping in a grocery store, during our recent trip to McCall, Idaho, I decided that I needed to find a restroom. As I walked past the women’s restroom on the way to the men’s room, I noticed that there was a long line of women waiting for their turn. After walking right into the men’s room and going about my business without a wait, I thought to myself, “I’m glad I’m a man.”

I thought of a few more reasons for my gender satisfaction.

Fifteen of my Top Reasons that I’m happy to be a man

1. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
2. My grey hair and wrinkles add character.
3. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
4. I can open all my own jars.
5. I get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
6. I don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
7. My belly hides my big hips (Or, maybe I don’t have big hips – don’t know – I can’t see past my belly).
8. Car mechanics tell me the truth.
9. I know which screwdriver is which.
10. I don’t give a rip if someone notices my new haircut or not.
11. I can “do” my nails with a pocketknife.
12. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
13. My underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
14. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
15. The garage is all mine.